A Song that Means So Much to Me

A friend of mine sang this Meredith Andrews song Sunday at church. The first time I heard this song was at the Hearts at Home conference in March. The week before the conference I had found out that my cancer had returned. I had gone through the low lows of hearing my cancer was back and that I needed to have tests to determine if it had spread. I had experienced the high of finding out that my PET scan had come back clean, and I was still Stage 1. I went to the conference determined to have a good day worshipping my God with my sister and friends. And while there God really used this song to speak to me. While Meredith sang this song for us, I sat there and cried because I knew what it was saying to my heart was true. That day this song kind of became my song for this part of my cancer journey. Last year I had another song that meant a lot to me. Maybe sometime soon I will write about that song.

"Not For A Moment (After All)"
MEREDITH ANDREWS

[Verse 1]
You were reaching through the storm
Walking on the water
Even when I could not see
In the middle of it all
When I thought You were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me
Not for a moment did You forsake me

[Chorus]
After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

[Verse 2]
You were singing in the dark
Whispering Your promise
Even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
Carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me

[Chorus]

And every step every breath you are there
Every tear every cry every prayer
In my hurt at my worst
When my world falls down
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Even in the dark
Even when it's hard
You will never leave me
After all

[Chorus]
Not for a moment will You forsake me

God so often speaks to me through music. As soon as the song began, it immediately got my attention because I could so relate to the verses. I understand the feeling of being utterly alone in the middle of a dark storm. We often feel that way in our biggest trials, and we wonder where God is. If He cares. But He has not gone anywhere. He has told us in Hebrews 13:5 that He will never leave us nor forsake us.

I also really love the verse that talks of how He is whispering to us in our trial. We cannot hear Him for whatever reason, but He is still whispering. For me it reminds me of a radio that is not tuned in. The station is still playing the song, but I cannot hear it because my radio is not tuned to it properly. But if I adjust the tuning knob, then all of a sudden I can hear the station loud and clear. The same is true with God. He is always there. He never leaves us. If we can’t hear Him it doesn’t mean that He is not talking to us. It just means that we need to adjust ourselves and try tuning in His voice better. I think we can do this by reading the Bible and memorizing verses. If you have the verses locked away in your heart, then God can use them later to help you. We can also tune in to God through prayer and for me good music.  For me that day this song came in loud and clear. I heard God’s promises to me, and I knew that He wanted me to hear them that day and to remember.

I also love the chorus. I love how she reminds herself and us that God is constant. He never changes. He is the same God today as He was 4000 years ago. What Noah, Abraham, and Isaac learned about Him has not changed.  He is still the same today. And He will be the same 4000 years in the future. Isn’t that cool!

He is also only good. God can only do good. He is not some dictator sitting up in heaven manipulating people like pieces of a chess game just to see them squirm. There is no evil in Him. He is unable to even do evil. God is love. He has promised us that He loves us and that He will work all things out for good (Romans 8:28). Even the trials that bring us to very dark times in our lives. We can trust Him.

He is sovereign. He is always in control. He is all-knowing, all-present, and all-powerful. His very nature demands our worship and praise. Some people are offended by the idea that God could know that something bad could happen to one of His children and that He would not stop it. They think that this is not loving. But if we are to really try and learn more about God, we must look at what the whole Bible has to say about God. It is not always easy to understand. I won’t try and say that I have it all figured out. But I do know that the Bible tells us that God allows thing to happen to us sometimes in order for us to grow.  

If you have given your life to Him already, then He is trying to use these hard times to bring you closer to Him. Make you more like Him. I love Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  It can be painful but it is definitely effective. Just like athletes must push their bodies to the limit to grow stronger and faster, so must we spiritually. Pain is not fun but it is needed sometimes to grow. But no matter how bad it gets. How dark the storm is. He will be there with us. Comforting us. He will never push us so far that we can’t take it (I Cor 10:13). The goal is not to destroy us but to build us up. I admit that it may seem like a strange way to go about it, but we can trust God. We might never fully understand why we go through something, but we can trust God and know that He is in control.

If you have not given your life to Christ yet, then He will use hard times to help you to realize that you do need Him. He loves you and wants what is best for you. He has made this world and everything in it, so He has a right to make the rules here on Earth too. You might not like that. The first man on this planet couldn’t even follow one simple rule, and that is what got us all in trouble. Now we all have this desire to make our own rules. Run our own life. Be our own person. And we tell ourselves that we deserve it. That it is our right. But if God really is who He says He is, then He has every right to tell us how best to go about things. He is the parent and we are the kids that don’t know better but think we do. He has given us the Bible not to be an unloving dictator but to be a loving parent guiding us. He wants you to realize fully who He is. Acknowledge that He has a right to be worshipped. He wants nothing more than for you to do this.

So as I go for my next chemo treatment tomorrow, I will keep this song close to my heart. The song and all the promises it reminds me of. I am not looking forward to being sick again, but I know that God will be with me. I can count on Him!